Red-backed salamanders appear to have a complex social system, which requires them to make decisions based on complex suites of information. In the forest, these salamanders appear to establish long-term male-female pairs (social monogamy). Experimental studies in the laboratory have demonstrated that these pairs may be maintained by aggression (sexual coercion) toward partners that associate with other individuals of the other sex. I shall review the evidence for sexual coercion by both sexes. Then, I shall present evidence that past experience (and perhaps relationship value: sensu de Waal and Aureli) influences the decision whether or not to use aggression on a fickle partner.